He is a leader of an organization I know. He’s been in the senior role for several years, so he’s no longer new and in a honeymoon period. I asked people in his organization what they thoughts of him and the answer from everyone was the same, “he’s nice.” That’s it, no one said anything beyond “he’s nice.” It could be I was in Minnesota, which is known for “Minnesota nice”, meaning people only say nice things, but I wasn’t. Why should it matter, because who wouldn’t want to be known as nice? If that’s all that’s being said, you should wonder what isn’t being said. Never hearing anyone say anything other than, “he’s nice”, also made me wonder how effective he is as a leader. My hunch is, he’s not very effective.

Why would I say that?

Because in my experience, those who care about what people say about them, or think about them, shouldn’t go into leadership. Their care or concern about the perception of others kept them timid and unable or unwilling to make the difficult decisions that are part of being a leader. The “nice” leaders avoided conflict, which kept them from having the necessary and difficult conversations that needed to be had. They tended to delay when they needed to confront the problem or issue. I’ve observed situations when a “nice” leader had a critical conversation with a staff member but they said it so nicely the person didn’t even understand they were in trouble or they needed to change anything.

I’ve also seen “nice leaders” make no changes. They were great at keeping things as they were, the status quo was where they were most comfortable, and it made most people very happy. It wasn’t necessarily the best for the organization, but if things were going well, nothing will be questioned. Anyone who wanted to see change were drowned out and became frustrated. Most of them either gave in or quietly left the organization.

I also don’t believe you should seek to be a “mean”, “nasty” or otherwise “not nice person”, to be an effective leader. I’ve met a few of those in my career that seemed to go out of their way to be unnecessarily harsh, condescending, or act like bullies. My belief is they were either extremely insecure or had some bad leadership models in their career. They too are not effective.

I believe leaders are charged with doing what’s best for the organization, not just today, but in the future too. The world isn’t staying the same, it’s constantly changing, which means they must make changes to keep the organization both successful and relevant in changing times.

Leaders are also required to set boundaries of what they will accept and what they won’t accept and then hold people accountable. I don’t know if I can recall many people saying “thanks for holding me accountable” in my career. Chances are the person you hold accountable won’t think of you as nice. They’ll probably use some words that don’t appear in this blog. But the others on the team will greatly appreciate you for doing it, because it was impacting them and it was your job to do it.

Focus on what needs to be done, not on what people might think or say about you and you’ll be a much better leader.

It is dangerous to be concerned with what others think of you, but if you trust the Lord, you are safe. Proverbs 29:25 GNT