I was standing in front of a room full of people, having just finished sharing information that was important to them. They were interested in the subject, cared and were passionate about it. Most of the crowd didn’t have any knowledge beyond what had just been disseminated, much less the details of all that was going on behind the scenes to get to this point.  It was now time to answer questions and receive their feedback. The questions were easier for me because most of them had simple answers which satisfied the person asking. There were a few who acted as if they had more knowledge on the subject than they truly did and wanted to pump up their self-worth in sharing their experiences before asking. Again, the answers were easy. The feedback is always more challenging for me because I want to explain or defend a position related to their feedback. It’s human nature, in me for sure. But I learned over the years it doesn’t help and usually makes things worse. My response was a simple one, “thanks for sharing”. Yes, 3 little words, that’s all. If you are in front of a crowd receiving many different comments, you can vary your words, but not the message, which is one of gratitude. To one I said, “thanks for your thoughts”, to another, “we appreciate your suggestion”, and to someone else “that’s great feedback, thank you”. When receiving feedback, it’s most important to affirm the person sharing with you. Your brain might immediately recognize their idea is “off the wall”, unrealistic, something you’ve already done, or maybe even a little crazy, but they shared with you because they care. They want to help, not hurt. Receive it with a smile.

Pride makes us want to respond and defend, especially in a crowd because others are hearing it too. We want everyone to know we have thought through things, we’ve weighed the pros and cons, making responsible decisions. Pride pushes you, thinking if I don’t defend myself, everyone will think negatively about me. Getting into a public debate won’t enhance your position. At the end of the day, if you’ve made the right decision others will know it. So, fight your pride with thankfulness. We are wise to follow the words once shared by the Archbishop of Canterbury, Michael Ramsey,

“Thankfulness is a soil in which pride does not easily grow.”

Here are two things I’ve learned about life. 1) Life experiences are solely ours, no one else’s. Two people can have completely different experiences from the same event, because God created us unique. Remember you are one of a kind. 2) We only get to go through life once and we will make mistakes, some of them are hard ones. The hard tests are ones we don’t want to take again, and we don’t want others we care for to take them too. It’s why you and I (well me for sure) often share unsolicited feedback; because we don’t want someone else to feel the pain we felt.

You might receive feedback that isn’t helpful. I remember during a period of transition listening to someone smugly say to me, “When I was unemployed, I did A, B & C, if you do those, you’ll find a job in 3 months as I did.” I wanted to say, “buddy, I’ve already done A, B, & C, as well as D, E & F and I’m still looking”. Instead, I smiled and said, “thanks for sharing your wisdom”.

Other times, feedback is helpful. You say to yourself, “wow, I hadn’t thought of that”, or “what a great idea.” Your response should be the same, “thanks for sharing.”

In the end you get to choose whether you do something with feedback or not. It’s not a requirement to do anything.

Practice thankfulness, it’s good for you in more ways than you can imagine.

Always be joyful. Always keep on praying. No matter what happens, always be thankful, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus. 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 (TLB)