To this day, I’m conflicted in my opinions about him. He was one of the first CEOs I worked for in my career, so at the time I didn’t have much to compare him to. It was evident to me that if I wanted to invest money in the organization and have that investment grow, I would want him to run the operation. Then there was the other side of him that I struggled with. He was smart, but he wanted everyone to know it. If they didn’t recognize it and acknowledge it, he would point it out. He understood power dynamics and loved being in the position of power which he always used to his benefit. He could be candid, but not in a way I expected. I once recommended seeking feedback from our leaders and employees on an important topic and his response to me was, “I don’t want to ask them, because I might not want to do what they tell me.” Straightforward in the response, yes, but not what I had hoped to hear. Looking back from where I am today with a few more years of experience, I don’t know that he had much self-esteem. It was as if he was always trying to prove himself, to himself. Personally (and I wasn’t alone in this opinion) I didn’t want to follow him, but I had to follow him because he was our CEO.

When I examine the difference between the great leaders I wanted to follow and the not-so-great leaders I was required to follow, I believe the missing ingredient was self-esteem. As I advanced in my career, higher into the organization, I was amazed at the personal insecurity I observed in many leaders which came out in different ways.

To me self-esteem is being comfortable with who you are and loving yourself. If we’re honest, most of us struggle with it in some way, or at least I’ll confess I do. Yet I believe there is a direct link between self-esteem and being a good leader. I’ve found it is important in three areas of leadership that I value.

Authenticity. We crave authentic leaders, those who are the same person whenever or wherever you meet them. It doesn’t matter if it’s in the boardroom, walking through the halls of the organization or at the grocery store on a weekend. They are the type of person you would describe as real, not fake. I’ve found leaders who feel good about themselves seem to care less about how they look to others, it doesn’t appear to be important to them because they are comfortable with who they are. Because of this, they’ll admit when they don’t have all the answers, they don’t need to fake it. In contrast, leaders with low self-esteem are rarely authentic because deep down they don’t want others to recognize their faults. They never want to admit when they don’t know an answer or they’re in over their head.

Humility. Most of us prefer to work for a leader who is humble and shares the credit for success and takes the blame for failure. I think it’s easier for those with positive self-esteem because nothing is about them and they certainly never see themselves as the most important. Humility allows them to care better because you are more important to them than they are to themselves. In contrast, leaders who have low self-esteem need to tell the world of their accomplishments or solicit praise for their work because in so doing, they build up their own self-esteem. They want all the credit and certainly don’t want to take the blame when something goes wrong.

Decisiveness. When there is a difficult decision to be made, we all want someone who will decide and not waffle. While there may be disagreements on which path their organizations should take, they’ll listen but decide and move forward. I’ve watched many leaders struggle to decide because they are afraid of being wrong, they want to be perfect or are afraid to face criticism if things don’t go well. I find leaders with positive self-esteem are more objective in making tough decisions because success, failure or criticism doesn’t change their opinion of themselves. They do what they have to do.

If you want to be a better leader, start with learning to appreciate who you are and love yourself first.

You should not use outward aids to make yourselves beautiful, such as the way you fix your hair, or the jewelry you put on, or the dresses you wear.  Instead, your beauty should consist of your true inner self, the ageless beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of the greatest value in God’s sight. 1 Peter 3:3-4 (GNT)