It was 1829, and the Royal Calcutta (India) golf club, built by the British, was now open for play. The members quickly found out golf in India had some hazards that didn’t exist in their home country, elephants, rhinos, and tigers wanted to cross the fairways during play. The members learned to accommodate them with plenty of space. It wasn’t the same with the monkeys who would come down out of the trees bordering the fairways, pick up the golf balls, and throw them. They became frustrated when a nice drive in the fairway would be found in the rough or behind a tree thanks to a monkey. Arguments between players became common, debating where to re-place the ball. To fix it, they built fences which were helpful in diverting the larger animals, but not the monkeys, nothing worked with them and frustration grew. All anyone wanted to do was complain about the monkeys. Finally, a member suggested creating a local rule for their course, requiring everyone to “play the ball where the monkey throws it.” After a long discussion it was adopted because they knew it would at least stop the complaints and arguments. What they didn’t expect was an attitude change. Once they accepted the unexpected, they no longer complained and even began to welcome the challenge of seeing what good could come from the unexpected.
How often does the monkey throw your ball where you work? I hope it isn’t daily, but I suspect it happens on a minor basis at least monthly, and a couple of times a year it’s a “major throw” by the monkey. I consider major throws by the monkey to be things like:
- The person you report to leaves
- Your CEO leaves
- Your organization is purchased
- An organizational restructuring – you now report to someone different
- An organizational restructuring – you lose your job
- An organizational restructuring – friends of yours lose their jobs
- Your organization purchases another organization
- Your organization and another announce a merger
- You don’t get the promotion you had hoped for
How do you react? A typical reaction for someone is to complain about what happened, why it’s not good, how it’s impacting their life, etc. It can go on for days with whomever listens. At some point someone wants to say, “Would you like a little cheese to go with your whine?” Yet I’ve done it myself because I’ve experienced all those major throws by the monkey and of course I’m human. I suspect you’ve done it too. Did it help? Not really, because nothing could undo what has happened.
What’s hidden within those major upheavals is an opportunity. Yes, that’s right, an opportunity to learn new skills, to be stretched beyond your comfort zone, or for someone else to see the skills you have which were previously unnoticed. I’ve found those who are the most successful are people who, when confronted the unexpected, spend very little time on what they cannot change and are focused on making the most of the new opportunity.
Another challenge to the monkey throwing your ball is everyone is watching you, especially if you’re a leader. They want to see how you react. It’s a teachable moment. What do you teach?
Kevin told me a story of when he was a young lawyer with a lot on his plate at work and at home with a young family. He rushed off to work one morning, mentally preparing for a client meeting he would be attending with his mentor, Mike. It was a big deal to be in this meeting. When he arrived at work, after a 40-minute drive, he realized he had left his suitcoat at home. In 2024, that might not be a big deal, however at that time it was a requirement for men to wear a coat and tie to any client meeting. There wasn’t time to go back home and he was stressed over it. He sheepishly went in to tell Mike, even offering to skip the meeting. Mike’s response had a profound affect on Kevin because of how he handled the unexpected. He didn’t yell, he wasn’t mad. He simply took off his suitcoat and said, “let’s go” and off to the meeting they went without suitcoats.
Trust me, the monkey will throw your ball to an unexpected place. How you respond is what is most critical. Embrace the challenge.
“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” John 16:33
