Have you watched a dog chase a rabbit? The rabbit looks enticing, but they are hard to catch. I remember watching our dog run through an electric fence to chase a rabbit, and soon we were looking for our dog. Chasing a rabbit, after all, often takes you places you haven’t been before and maybe don’t want to be.
In life, we can get distracted by our thoughts, ending up in an unhealthy state of mind. Often something triggers your thoughts, like getting passed over for a promotion where you work, not getting the job you hoped to get, or being frustrated by a job search.
A common feeling is frustration because you aren’t in control. Alone you can’t make it happen. In your frustration, you are prone to letting your thoughts “chase a rabbit” down into the “rabbit hole.” I’ve chased those “rabbits” myself, ending up in the rabbit hole several times. The rabbit hole is where thoughts wander aimlessly, and we lose focus on the right things. Soon confidence dwindles and doubt creeps in. Next, you might begin feeling sorry for yourselves, or a “victim”, maybe unloved or even sink into a general state of depression. No one plans it, it just happens. One little thought can spark another in our mind and soon we’re heading to a difficult place. The challenge is, where the mind goes isn’t real; it is imagined.
When this happens to you, when you find yourself in a rabbit hole, you need to find a way out of that hole within a day or two; because, the longer you stay there the harder it will be to get out. But how? While everyone is different, my recommendation is to get help. Don’t try to do this alone.
Who? It could be a close friend or spouse. Even more helpful is if you know of someone who has experienced the same challenge in their life and walked “in your shoes.”
What works for you will be unique to you because there is only one you. Some things to remember on your journey are:
- Be honest with yourself and others. Don’t fake being better than you are. Talk honestly about what’s happening to you and admit you don’t have your act together.
- If you have trouble shaking it, be willing to get professional help. A psychologist can be extremely helpful in re-orienting your thoughts.
- Whatever you do, learn from the process because it’ll happen again when you least expect it.
A friend of mine told me this story. A women fell into a deep hole. She shouted for help and a lawyer came by. The lawyer saw the problem and threw a note down to the person in the hole with their phone number and availability to file a lawsuit against the city. A doctor came by next, saw the problem and threw a prescription down to treat the infections from their injuries and offered to treat them when they got out. Next came two friends who jumped into the hole. The person screamed at them and said, “what are you two doing, are you crazy, now we’re all stuck in the same hole.” The two friends smiled and said “no, we’ve been in this hole before, and we know the way out. We’ll get us all out safely.”
Don’t try to get out of the hole alone. Good friends are invaluable in getting out.
“Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up. Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken” (Ecclesiastics 4: 9-12).
