Note to readers: Thank you for reading, it’s a true blessing. This is the final blog of 2025 as the last thing you should be doing the week of Christmas or the final week of the year is reading a blog. Enjoy time with your family and celebrate the birth of our Savior and ring in the new year. I know I will. I’ll be back in 2026.  

He was young and very talented. It was his first opportunity to lead a non-profit organization. Progress was being made and it showed, primarily through his own will and efforts. He pushed, prodded, cajoled and encouraged everyone to do things differently. He had vision and saw what they could be. He also knew that based on their size, they needed a “big brother”, another organization with more resources to help and support them. So, he began to court one that matched his values and vision. In our conversation, I shared with him the obvious anxiousness of the people he was leading and their concerns about the pace of change, both of which were voiced rather loudly and clearly when I met with them. I also shared who he was courting wasn’t who they wanted to work with. He acknowledged what I shared, he’d noticed too, but went on to say, “But I know what is needed for us to survive and succeed.”, then he told me what he believed. In the end, he moved faster than the people he was leading, grew frustrated at their reticence and left. I think he was probably right, but being right doesn’t always mean success because people are unique.

His first three words, “But I know” are ones I’ve used myself and watched others use them too. You might think it’s only used by young people, but it’s not. I’ve heard those same words spoken by people of all ages, by both men and women. I’ve learned those words are only part of the equation for a leader, and I learned it the hard way. Ouch.

It is important for leaders to have the vision, to see clearly where their organization needs to go or what needs to happen and believe in it. If the leader doesn’t believe it, no one else will believe it.

What I learned through mistakes is that I must get others to see what I see and own it to have true success. It requires me to bring along those that I lead to where I am. It’s more important for them to own it and feel like it’s their idea, than it is for me, because if they don’t, we won’t have success and they will fight back all the way, kicking and screaming. An effective leader understands that being recognized for an idea or vision doesn’t matter; achieving success is what truly counts. Personal pride is the only reason I might want others to know something was my idea and sometimes pride sits on my shoulder and whispers in my ear and maybe yours too, “take credit for it”, or “tell the world it was your idea.”

I’ve learned three things that may be helpful for you as a leader.

1. Patience – This is a hard one because most of us aren’t patient, and the only way we learn it is having to be patient. Unless the “house is on fire”, meaning you’re organization is in trouble and change must happen quickly, you’ll need to bring them along slowly which requires an extra dose of patience. It will take time. Keep your eye on the end result, not how quicky you get there.
2. Engagement – If you truly want people to own something, to feel like it was their idea, they must be engaged in the process of decision making with you. To help them see what you see you must include them in looking at the numbers, the challenges, etc. Don’t hide it and think it’s too much for them, if you share, the chances greatly increase that they’ll see what you see. When they are part of the process, they have ownership in making the best decision, which should be what you want.
3. Praise and Encourage – When you are engaging people in something they may not have been a part of previously, heap plenty of praise on them for each positive step and encourage them in their struggles. You can never have too much of either, so don’t worry about trying to ration them.

If you say to yourself, or even out loud, “But I know …”, pause and ask what you can do to help them see what you need and want them to see. Your chances for success will go up and your frustration will drop.

Those who trust their own insight are foolish, but anyone who walks in wisdom is safe. Proverbs 28:26 (NLT)