Do you like asking for help from others? If I’m honest, I’d have to answer by saying, no, I don’t always like it. And I imagine most of us don’t.
Seriously, who enjoys it? Why is it we’re that way?
I’ve found three common reasons. (If you have more, please share them with me.)
1. We don’t know who to ask.
This point speaks to my challenge when I need help with technology or social media. I don’t know who understands it or has the time.
And if it relates to a vendor, good luck getting someone to answer the phone! Everyone wants to “chat,” which is basically messaging back and forth. I want to talk to a real person.
The more I ask, the more frustrated I become that I can’t find someone to help—or that I can’t figure it out myself.
2. We don’t want to owe a debt.
Many people believe if they ask someone for help, they’ll owe that person. They’re afraid they’ll be obligated to say “yes” no matter the request.
Personally, when I ask for help, I usually feel like I’m indebted to that person—and none of us wants to pile up debt! But when others ask me for help, I never think that person will owe me. I’m just happy to help.
3. Our pride gets in the way.
Our ego is our biggest challenge. We like to be self-sufficient, to take care of things, solve our problems, and be independent. The more we need to ask for help, the more it hurts our pride, which then sometimes leads to a lack of self-confidence.
Twice in my life, I’ve had periods of unemployment and needed to ask a lot of people for assistance. I really needed friends and colleagues to meet with me, listen to my situation, and introduce me to others.
I admit, there were days when, because of my damaged ego, I didn’t want to ask anyone for help. Yet, I don’t think that’s real life. That’s us getting in the way of ourselves.
How about you? If someone asks for your assistance, do you feel they have a debt they owe you? Do you think less of the person, believing they aren’t self-sufficient enough?
My answer is “no.” While I agree that if someone helps me, I certainly want to help them if they ask me, but I don’t keep track of who I’ve helped. I help people whenever I can, without any expectation, feeling privileged to do so.
I help because I’m able, but also because I enjoy it. I’m paying it forward for those who helped me. I never think less of the person.
In the most challenging times in my life, I’ve found goodness in people. I believe most want to help others, but they don’t always know when they’re needed. The only way they’ll know is if we ask.
Jesus does the same for us. He’s there when we ask.
“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.
“Which of you, if your son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!”
If you need help, swallow your pride and just ask. And when someone asks you, help them, and in doing so, be sensitive to their ego.